go...

seriously

what is the fucking problem with Axl Rose?

Me and Pete

I went to an in-store performance by Pete Yorn at Ollson’s in Dupont Circle a few weeks back. Pete was on a summer acoustic tour in support of his recently released album, Nightcrawler, and was doing in-stores alongside with the actual gigs. The event started at 7; I got there about 15 after - in time to catch the last 3 songs of his 6 song set. I was present for some new song, Strange Condition from Musicforthemorningafter, and a cover of Dylan’s Blowin’ in the Wind. Pete put on an entertaining show– he’s got a great voice and it looked like he was actually happy to be there. It was cool that he was basically there by himself and didn’t have a crew present save for his cousin who was chronicling the tour with a DV cam. A cool feature of the in-store was receipt of an EP, Westerns, with advance-purchase of the CD. Pete took about 10 minutes after his performance to chill and then came back out to do a meet and greet. I was close to the end of the line of about 60 people and for that reason I received a sweet Nightcrawler poster, which I later got signed along with my EP. I was a little nervous as my turn in line approached, not knowing what I would say besides “hey.” I knew Pete was in Portland the week prior as I was too, so I brought that up and we talked about the city for a bit. As for the EP, it’s solid and left me eagerly awaiting the release of Nightcrawler, which I haven’t picked up yet cause I’ve convinced myself it such a pain to get to Dupont. The tracks on Westerns have solid melodies and as the title of the EP indicates, are also very folky/country/bluesy. I’ve been waiting a while for another Pete Yorn record as his sophomore effort, Day I Forgot, was a major disappointment to me as compared to his first release, MFTMA. I think Pete concentrated a little too hard on song-writing on DIF, leaving the album pretty bland musically.

thoughts on Tuesday morning

do you wake up and feel rested?
or do you feel tired all day
like on the verge of collapse

neither
i wake up and feel like a ball of shit
then i unroll and feel ilke an unrolled ball of shit
then i walk around feeling like a walking piece of unrolled ball shit for abotu 5 minutes

---

the slit in thigh of the black dress of the women at the cocktail party defines the quality of the cocktail party. that's the only factor.

The Little Brown Jug

This story, again, concerns college football so those of you who are bored by it (Marco?) may move on.

Back in 1901, Fielding Yost became the head coach at Michigan after which the Wolverines won 28 straight games. In the meantime, the Minnesota Gophers, a Big 10 rival of Michigan's, assembled one of the best teams in school history, so Gopher fans were excited about possibly ending the Wolverines' streak. They were to meet in Minnesota and Yost was afraid that Minnesota would contaminate Michigan's water supply during the game. Early 20th century mentality for you. Yost asked the team manager to purchase something to carry water in for the team during the game. The manager purchased a 5 gallon jug for 30 cents from a local five-and-dime.

20,000 fans watched the matchup between the two teams in an overflowing Northrop Field. Minnesota held the fabled "point-a-minute" squad to just one touchdown, but hadn't yet managed to score a touchdown of their own. Finally, late in the second half, the Gophers reached the endzone to tie the game at 6–6. As clouds from an impending snowstorm hung overhead, pandemonium struck when Minnesota fans stormed the field in celebration. Eventually the game had to be called with two minutes remaining. The Wolverines walked off the field, leaving the jug behind.

It's a mystery as to why the jug was left behind. Was it stolen by Minnesota? Was it accidentally left behind? Perhaps Yost figured that it had served its purpose and left it behind intentionally. Still, Oscar Munson (the custodian who found the jug) and L.J. Cooke (head of the Minnesota Athletics Department) were excited to have this little bit of memorabilia, proceeding to paint it brown (it had originally been putty-colored) and commemorate the day by writing "Michigan Jug – Captured by Oscar, October 31, 1903" on the side along with the score "Michigan 6, Minnesota 6". Of course, in the spirit of the moment, Minnesota's score was written many times larger than that of Michigan.

Later, Yost wanted the jug back, and sent a letter asking for it to be returned. Cooke wrote in response: "We have your little brown jug; if you want it, you’ll have to win it." Michigan did exactly that when the teams met up again in 1909, and repeated the performance in 1910. Over the years, Michigan has owned the jug with only slight interuptions from time to time when Minnesota can pull out a victory.

Well, last year, Minnesota won for the first time since 1986. In Michigan, no less. It was such a frustrating site: As soon as the clock hit 0:00 all the Minnesota players elatedly ran to the Michigan sidelines, found the jug and hoisted it over their heads as they carried it off the field.

Michigan plays at Minnesota this Saturday at 8:00pm EDT on ESPN.

Each year Michigan head coach Lloyd Carr gathers his team, usually the Sunday before game week, and discusses the trophy's history. At Sunday's team meeting, Carr asked one of the younger players to re-tell the story. "Terrence Taylor volunteered. He knew the essentials. He knew the fundamental story," Carr said Monday. "Unfortunately, I was unable to show our team what it looks like. I love the Little Brown Jug. Looking back at it, the history and tradition of that trophy, it's the oldest in college football history -- which you all know, and you probably don't care.

"If you're a Michigan football player, if you're a Minnesota football player, I guarantee you care."

I'm just a fan, but I care, too.

Article citations:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_Brown_Jug_(football)
http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060926/SPORTS06/609260400/1054/SPORTS

Peanut Butter Jelly Time

Peanut butter and banana sandwich? Good.
Peanut butter, jelly and banana sandwich? God awful.

80,730

I just had, what some refer to as, an out of body experience. I just scored 80,730 points in Pacman. I... I... I can’t even explain it. You know, I’ve been playing this game a lot in the last... month or so? And in playing it so much, I've started to really see how the four nemesis ghosts (BLiNKY, PiNKY, iNKEY and CLYDE) move around the board. I've begun to see how they react to what I do. How, by moving to particular areas of the board and then standing still, I can almost dictate where they move and the decisions they make. It’s very similar to a project Marco and I worked on at Syracuse concerning Artificial Intelligence. I guess you could say that I’ve been able to, over time, dissect the ghosts’ knowledge base. I think that’s an accurate term, too. Whereas they don’t actually learn and add to that knowledge base from the actual game play (for if that were the case, the more I played, the smarter they’d become and I’d perform worse and worse), they do become slightly smarter at every level you reach. Granted, that is programmed into the game, so I guess an argument could be made that it is not, in fact, knowledge engineering, but this is how I relate to it. So for the purposes of this post, I’m going with it. So anyway, I’ve learned how they navigate the board relative to me but I don’t perform on the level I did this morning during every game I play. Generally speaking, this is the case because I make mistakes. Operator error is by far the biggest reason, I suspect, that people don’t do better at Pacman on a regular basis. Well, this morning, I didn’t really make any mistakes. At least not through the first seven levels. I didn’t even die for the first time until I had over 71,000 points. Seventy-one thousand! Previous to this, my high game was 65 thousand and change. I also got screwed on my extra guys. You get an extra guy at 10,000 points and then every 20 grand after that. But the spot on the board to denote how many lives you have left is only big enough to show four Pacmans. Well, you start with two lives, and then I earned four more (one at 10k, 30k, 50k, and 70k) but it only showed me as having four lives left. I should have had six. I assumed that the game kept the real number in some unseen variable and it would all get worked out in the end. But no. As it is, you can’t have more than four extra lives. hrumph. After I died once, I started making some stupid mistakes. That, coupled with the fact that BLiNKY, PiNKY, iNKEY and CLYDE get pretty fast and smart by level 8, is why, after not dying once until 71,000 points, I managed to die three times between 71,000 and 80,730. Clearly, my goal now is one-hundred thousand points.

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/pacman.html

Hail To the Victors!

Today is one of the biggest days of the fall and winter for me. The annual Michigan/Notre Dame... showdown. It's far more than a mere 'game.' It defines the season for both teams. Notre Dame right now is ranked second in the country and Michigan eleventh. Every matchup of these two teams is an instant classic before the first kick off. Below are my thoughts during the game.

!!! Second play of the game Michigan intercepts vagina-boy Brady Quinn and returns it for a touchdown! 7-0. I'M FLIPPING OUT! I think i need a drink. My heart can't take this.

11:16 1st Q: FUCK! Chad Henne is picked off trying to make something happen under pressure on 3rd and 6. And ND scores on the next play. I'm now drinking scotch. The Glenlivet. 15 year.

Mike Hart, Michigans all-star tailback (from Syracuse) is clearly going to be the key to this game. ND has a history of shutting down Michigans best player and rallying behind that. Michigan needs to get Hart into this game big time to have a chance to win. So far, 3 rushes for -8 yards. But it's early; There's still over 10 minutes left in the first.

6:08 1st Q: Defensive battle. Trading punts. Michigan needs a big drive. fuck. Hart can't even get back to the line of scrimmage. That needs to change.

Oh! big third down converstion for big blue and now going deep! yes! TOUCHDOWN MICHIGAN! 3:53 left in the first. Oh damn, the extra point is blocked. hrumph. well. that's alright. 13-7 michigan. Lucky I don't have any hair or else i'd be pulling it out.

while we're at commercial. My friend Don has a 65" TV with High Def. I asked him what he was doing today and he worked from 12am to 12pm today so he's probably sleeping right now. He said that if he felt up to it he'd give me a call and I could come over to watch the game. Frankly, it's better that he didn't call me. He's a Notre Dame fan and I don't think we could be friends today. It's kind of like a holiday.

FUMBLE! ND fumbled the ensuing kickoff! Michigan ball on the ND 26! I need to turn the AC on. This is all too much. This is where Mike Hart needs to get in this game.

YES! MIKE HART. 2 YARD TOUCHDOWN! oh so sweet. Its like fresh molases on a mild, late summer Saturday afternoon. 20-7.

I've taken to listening to my stereo at night while I go to sleep. I set it on a timer and just let a CD go. In order to hear it in my bedroom, I have to turn it up kinda high. And since I go to bed at about 12 or 1 every night, i knocked on my nextdoor neighbors door one day and asked her if she could hear it. She said she could not and to trust her that if she did, she'd be ringing my bell. That confidence in the soundproofedness of my walls comes in handy on days like today. I'm yelling pretty loundly and alot of it contains curse words. Hard to imagine, I know, but it is what it is.

End of the first quarter. wow. just... wow. 20-7 Michigan. Alot of people are surprised right now. I equate Notre Dame football with the Yankees. I despise them out of respect, absolutely, but I never root against them as hard as I do as when they do battle with the Wolverines from Ann Arbor. And now for a little fill up on the scotch-whiskey.

Time out Michigan. While we're away, allow me to speak about turnovers. Three turnovers in this game so far and touchdowns off of all three. Notre Dame makes it a paramount priority to not turn the ball over. The first pick by Michigan was really the receivers fault and not Quinns. It was in and out of his hands at which point it turned into a tip-drill and michigan was just in the right place to pick it and return it. Then ND's interception was just a bad decision by Chad Henne. And finally, ND's fumble was the result of a good hit by Michigan. Michigan needs to keep the ball secure and make better decisions. You can't expect to get any more turnovers from ND, so Michigan can't be reckless with the ball and allow ND to get back in this game cheaply. Make them earn it by beating your defense, which is a large enough task as it is. Let's not make it easy for them. About 13 minutes left in the half.

OH MY YES! 20 YARD TOUCHDOWN PASS HENNE TO MARIO MANNINGHAM! i'm elated. Michigan is just owning Notre Dame right now, 27-7. Hart is getting back into the swing of things with 29 yards on 11 rushes, opening up the passing game for Henne. Oh this is great. It's important to take the crowd out of the game early and its especially true in Notre Dame stadium. Oh I'm fucking excited now, baby.

A couple of interesting stats I just heard. Granted, there is still 11 minutes and change left in the first half, but Brady Quinn is 1 for 6 for 3 yards, a touchdownn and an interception. Also, Notre Dame hasn't recoreded a first down yet today. This is nucking futs!

Halftime, still 8:39 away, is a very scary thing when your team is winning. Especially when the opposing team is home and they're coached by mastermind Charlie Weiss. Not to get ahead of myself here, but assuming Michigan still holds a lead at the half (hopefully larger than the one they hold now), they're going to have to come out during the second half with the same intensity and fire that they have now. Either this, or i suspect my neighbor really will hear me and call the police. And this might not even be such a bad thing since they can call the paramedics for me. If this lead gets blown, that will absolutely be necessary. Mike Hart, by the way 13 rushes for 52 yards. Michigan is 11-1 when Hart rushes for 100 yards or more.

Notre Dame has gotten a first down since I mentioned it above, but only one so far. 3 and out, 3 and out, 3 and out. Exceptional defense from Michigan. They're shutting down the run at the line of scrimmage, forcing ND to pass and then they're getting good pressure on Quinn forcing him into bad or rushed passes. It's fucking great. I couldn't have hoped for a better showing from Michigan so far. 7:18 left in the half.

Oh, and more scotch needed.

Another long drive from Michigan led by the rush with the occasional pass thrown in, capped by another 20 yard touchdown pass from Henne to Manningham. The third time those two have hooked up for 7 today. They just said something on TV that sums up the game so far very well: "Notre Dame's defense has been unable to stop Michigan on the ground or through the air. The rout is on." Well. awww shucks. Rout? well... you know. if you say so. ::blush:: 34-7. 2:30 left in the half.

Less than a minute to go in the half and Michigan falls into a prevent type defense, giving ND's receivers huge cushions and completed passes with the theory that as long as everything stays in front of them, it's all good. But Brady Quinn is just picking them apart now. Now its first and goal with 24 seconds left and there, ND scores. I mean, what is the thought there, Michigan? Your attack defense has been a brick all the entire half allowing one first down through 29 minutes. Now you've allowed ND to find their rhythm on offense and score a motivational touchdown right before the dreaded half time. I don't like it. I don't like it one bit. sigh.

Halftime. Michigan will start with the ball in the third quarter. They're gonna need to come out with a drive like the last few in order to reinstate their dominance over ND, keep the crowd out of it, and hopefully score another touchdown to make up for the one they just gave away. Mike Hart in the first half: 17 rushes for 65 yards and a touchdown. He's going to need to be an integral part of the second half to keep the clock moving and to keep the ND offense on the sidelines.

Here we go. second half. new scotch. these first two drives, each team on offense, are going to be very important. maybe the most important of the game.

Michigan had to punt, but they did get a first down on the drive. this is exactly what i was talking about. halftime. dammit. their defense had better come out looking the way they did for the better part of the first half.

Alright, 3 and out for notre dame. things are looking up. Who wants to do a shot? Nobody? fine. I'll have two just so i'm not doing it by myself.

Another interception by the staunch Michigan defense retkurned to Notre Dame's 6 yard line. First and goal. All is right with the world. Second and goal. alright, lets punch this shit in there. Incomplete pass. Third and goal. This is where the offensive coordinator needs to step up with a tits play and the team needs to execute. Dammit. Mike Hart couldn't get in there. Good goal line stand. I can acknowledge that. Lets get these three. Done. 37-14. 16 points off of Notre Dame turnovers today. Clearly the difference in the game so far. 5:20 left in the third.

Interesting stat: Notre Dame, 7 punts, 6 first downs, and I think 5 of those first downs came on their last drive of the first half.

So Michigan has the ball on the 16, looking to score. Chad Henne just overthrew one of his receivers who was wide open in the end zone. The receiver, Steve Breston just finished his route and as he turned back towards the field, he was right in front of a group of ND cheerleaders. One of the male cheerleaders (obviously gay) got right up in his face and was screaming at him and then gave him the finger with all the emotion and bitterness he could muster. I have to laugh. On that note, another great, clock eating drive from Michigan ended, again, with a field goal. I'd rather they get into the end zone, obviously, but points is points and I'll take a 40-14 lead over the no. 2 team in the country after three quarters every week. Mike Hart: 25 rushes, 89 yards.

Notre Dame has reached the point in the game, with 12:41 to go, where they pass on every down and go for it on 4th and 9. Get lucky with a pass interference in the end zone and like that, it's 40-21. Fine. Lets get the ball back and run 7 or 8 minutes off the clock, score some more points and shoot this puppy in the head with a 12 gauge.

Mike Hart: 28 rushes, 116 yards. Michigan is all but assured of a win. I fucking love it. This is great. What a beautiful day.

About 3:20 left in the game, Notre Dame moving down the field with passes and chippy penalties by Michigan when heisman hopeful (laughable now) brady quinn fumbles the ball and it's picked by all-pro linebacker Lamar Woodley who returns it 54 yards for a touchdown. It's all academic at this point. The story of this game is going to be the 5, cout em FIVE, Notre Dame turnovers (23 Michigan points off of them).

I'm sure nobody is reading this far. I really thought this game was going to be much closer and I'd be documenting some sort of heart problem and maybe even a seizure. Of course, I love this outcome even better. This is what you call a convincing, total defeat. It'll be great to see how far Notre Dame falls in the polls on Tuesday. I really hope, and think they should, fall out of the top 10. Michigan, coming into the game 11th ranked, should move up a few spots. Lloyd Car just got the gatorade bath... like i said before, all is right with the world. Final score: 47-21, good guys. Awesome.

no title

If you knew you were going to live forever, would you still be spending your time doing database consulting or would you be learning useful talents, like sword fighting?
You might as well answer the question, if you've even thought about it in an alternate Universe, Google's already got it cached on their server farms in Mountain View. The entire history of human existence, every potential instant state of every single molecule for all time in every dimension is stored in there.