November 22, 2004
(In)Conspicuous Consumption
In an attempt to keep US GDP clipping along at a respectable rate, I have recently purchased some stuff -- some pretty hot stuff:
The Sports Coat. I needed something warm to wear during the Fall, and I was none too happy with the existing selection of seasonal outerwear. Nothing that I saw really meshed with my “young, suburban professional” wardrobe, and I didn’t think that my collection of fleece and track jackets would necessarily enhance my look. The Sports coat was a coup because it’s a suit jacket in its most intrinsic form, and not outerwear. I managed to stay warm without having to buy a real jacket.
Warmth isn’t the only benefit of the Sports coat. The Sports coat also provides me with both an appearance of legitimacy and an air of pretentiousness. And, when paired with a scarf, it gives me the “College Lit Professor who sleeps with his hot students” look that I have been seeking for some time now.
The T-shirt. What says “I’m an easy-going guy who likes to have a good time” more than this Team Barbados Athens 2004 T-shirt? You can’t really go wrong with a ringer T and, sometimes, when the sleeves ride up on my arms, and I’ve just done say 20 push-ups or so, I look pretty jacked. I also bought a Team Canada Athens 2004 T-shirt that is white with a red trim.
The Belt Buckle. This belt buckle is awesome because it brings much-needed attention to the general area of my dong. Let me tell you, it works like a charm with the L-iz-adies at the Club. I got this out in Utah which I think has actual Cowboys. Having bought it in Utah makes it more legitimate than if I had bought it in the District or in Tyson’s. I feel like a real live Cowpoke who’s about to take on the vast unknown of the Wild-Wild-West whenever I wear it. I realize that I’m not wearing the appropriate belt for the buckle, but I plan on getting a custom-made belt-strap here.