go...

tarr's letter

Aaron is going to school in a foreign country because he is either a communist or just a turncoat. He wrote Adam an email:

I got here on tuesday and don't have to register for
classes until tomorrow. My first real class is on
tuesday but the professor already told us that the
point of it will be to get drunk. We had a department
meeting on friday in which they gave us the keys to
our offices. Yes, I have my own office in the
department building, you stupid fuck. I feel
important, and I am. I shall make contributions to my
field, the likes of which you can only dream about.
That's how important I am.

I live with more Chineese people than I thought
existed. I hang out with a Polish guy named Marcin
and a German guy named Frank who doesn't speak very
good English but really wants to fuck British girls.
They are both hilarious, Frank because he says things
in the absolutely most stereotypically German way. He
has not patience for people who lack strength,
determination, or efficiency. He yells at the
Chineese people for speaking mandarin around him. The
Chineese people worship us as gods because we tower
over them and we are all blonde. Frank and Marcin are
both about 6 foot 3. The little Chinky bastards
scamper like roaches when we walk into a room. I have
befriended one named "Simon" although that is not his
real name, which is completely un-pronounceable.
Simon's goal in Liverpool is to "get fat" as he puts
it. He and his girlfriend weigh a grand total of
about 150 pounds. If you laid them length-wise they
would fit in the trunk of any midsized sedan. Frank,
Marcin, and I made Simon carry our television up the
hill from the city centre to work his arms and lats,
then we made him eat a half-gallon of ice cream. Then
we scared his girlfriend by being large and white.
Then he fell asleep on our kitchen table as a guy from
Aros (a place I thought was a mythical Island in the
clouds but is apparently a real place) yelled at him
in flemish (which I thought was what the Amish spoke.
I was wrong). The little Bastard clogged our sink
with rice paddies (I'm not kidding). He deserved the
ire of the greeks.

I have a series of papers due between the 7th and 10th
of January, but all other times are good.

Shut Up,

Tarr

haha. Yes, shut up.